Hand Prints

Everyday to me is a step closer to what GOD has in stored for my life. So I think through out each day about the things that I could possibly be doing wrong to prevent me from my full elevation. Elevation rather it be spiritually, mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally; all of that elevation is tied together. Simple things can't continue to keep me tied in bondage.

Staying in bondage can keep you even from yourself, and will allow you to not even acknowledge a little bit your plan in life. Life's plans can be altered by bondage from simple things, in whatever way I put it these things are blocking you from SO MUCH happening in YOUR LIFE in SO MANY areas of your life..

Relationship Bondage~

For a child relationship starts with their parents, either the parent keeps that child or walks away.From that point in a child's life they learn how to determine how to cope with relationships. A person learns to deal with the SHIFTS in relationships and begin to understand that the only thing that is constant in many of our relationships are CHANGE.


My first love was my Step Father, whom at the time I did not even consider the step at the beginning of him. He was simply my Father and as a little girl I was in love with this man. All I knew was that he loved me back just as much as I loved him. Nothing in my child like heart and thoughts could have prepared me for separation from him, nor could I be coached into understanding not only were we separated but he could walk away without looking back. A hurt that can't even be described in words, yet a strengthening that can't be broken down. From that relationship on I as a girl growing into my woman-hood built this wall that was layered with brick, steel,and logs that wall allowed me to only let people in so much, and only enough. When ever I would feel that things were too complicated and should not be; then I would shut them out because nothing about LOVE has ever been complicated to me.

Dealing with my own father, whom I came to know more during my teenage years and to me he has always been exactly WHO he is. Don't get me wrong he CAN be a good man, he can be a kind and giving person even. When he had the chance to make his first impression with me, it was then another blow to who was already set on the other side of a wall that could easily sit him on the opposite side. From that point on my emotions had been married to the two "MEN" that had the opportunity of the FIRST impression of WHAT & HOW most men think and are, how they operate and how they shut down and shut out... These were MY FATHERS~

Hand Prints~

Every time I found myself in a NEW "relationship" through out my life, at the end of those relationships I found myself still BOUND by the EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS to that person. Even now, I continue to look back and miss some him, and him happens to be WHO my thoughts are on at that moment. I let go of the physical and I even let go of the contact, through the years I couldn't let go of the way I felt about him. I wrote him letters and never mailed them off, I sent him emails to just check that he is still ok, I text to say happy birthday every year, and I even run into him here and there. I see him during football season, I see him during basketball season, off season I see him and my emotions push me the other way. I see him in the streets, and I see him every Friday and Sunday, I see him in my sleep and I see him when I am WEAK. Gosh!!

The hand prints from him left things foggy and I been trying to clear things out of my system so that there is nothing about him that I am attached to. Being attached/bound in this way has caused Ruth's HUSBAND to be DELAYED/pushed further away. See I MARRIED him emotionally each and every time I was with him, and in return that took away emotions that are to be fully given to MY BOAZ. Giving myself sucked me dry spiritually, to where I had to shut myself down emotionally when it came to men, him, and anyone else that was draining me emotionally and spiritually....

Being that my heart is connected to my spirit and my spirit helps to develop my wisdom, I have had to take myself through a THOROUGH CLEANSING period in my life. During this cleansing, I have been able to forgive, let go, and move on from every him that bound me and anyone else that had me bound. Forgiving these people that were in my life allowed me to also let them go and let them go in a way that doesn't bother me anymore. Yes, each and EVERY TIME "HE" walked away it bothered my spirit and it took from me what at that time I THOUGHT to be the better part of me. THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!! The BETTER part of me I didn't see, because it was NEVER for me to give that to ANYONE other than WHO GOD has picked for me.

The fathers that are and were in my life, assisted in me realizing that men are sometimes simple creatures and what they look at in life as complications, they see it to be more fit to walk away then to stay. Men can shut you out so easy because they start at their own children. If it is so easy as to turn away from, walk away from and reject your own DNA then what makes a woman feel bitter at the fact that he didn't decide to stay? When you have run across a "man" that has had NO FIGHT about HIMSELF all his life, don't expect to come along and feel that you can add consistency to his life.

So yes now I walk away easy from a "dating" situation or you might even say a possible relationship, that's only because I have learned to let go of what is not good for me. I am learning that PATIENTLY waiting is what makes sense for MY LIFE. I need for these windows to clear up of these hand prints anyhow so that when BOAZ is looking through them he CAN SEE ME.. I also know that I no longer NEED that wall of emotional protection because those people that have hurt me and wounded my spirits are no longer holding the same position that they had in my life. Through this process, I am able to tell the real from the fake and LOVE from hate. Through it ALL, I THANK GOD for guiding me, protecting me and keeping me; even those times when I was losing ME.....


I am in REPAIR, I'm not together but YES, I am getting there~




Love is ALWAYS LOVE & TRUTH
Ruth the TRUTH