Nothing is "COMPLICATED" about it~

There is nothing complicated about being single, just the same as there being nothing complicated about being in a relationship………

People let’s simply be REAL with OURSELVES for just ONCE…

Real LIFE and this is why at 32, I really don’t mind being SINGLE!

He wants to take you out on a few dates, show you how good he can treat you, and make sure he goes out of his way to leave a good impression with you of him so that it will be difficult to resist more dates with him.

While dating it starts to become clear to you, that you can open yourself up to him and be willing to take this thing further. At start you battle with even being open at all, you struggle with stepping out of your comfort zone of not having attached emotions to anyone and you decide that if you don’t step out of your zone now, then when will you or even scarier WILL YOU EVER??? So, ever so often you get brave enough to say what the hell will this hurt if I do? As long as I can keep face then I will be fine rather it works out or not. WRONG!!!!!!

In the beginning you guys discuss past relationships and even what your current feelings and situations are when it comes to being in a relationship. You are so single and have been for years, by choice simply because of the standards you have set for yourself as a WOMAN along with the standards you set for your future relationships. All of that is laid out and clear, it is understood what you will go for and what you will not go for as it is also understood what you will dish out and what you expect back from your mate in return.

RED FLAGS: He then goes into his past relationship, which happens to have “ended” as early as a few months prior to you guys actually meeting (if it ever ended at all) based on his words “it’s OVER”. Then you notice after awhile of spending time with him more and more over a period of time that during intimate moments of simply laying there and listening to his heart beat while you lay there on his chest trying to connect the rhythm of his heart beats with yours…… THAT HE IS SOMEWHERE ELSE MENTALLY…
You notice but you keep it to yourself, while at the same time checking yourself for even being open enough to get to this point. After this you decide to recline from the situation a bit, but of course not enough. You might not hang out every weekend anymore, and you might not even text and call as much but you still continued in some type of way.

He acts as if he is confused as to why you have reclined from being consistent with him and wants to get together to discuss what areas the two of you can work on so that you guys can move forward and grow closer and possibly be more. While discussing it all, the fact that since you have reclined yet another woman is now involved with this man. After awhile the conversation is tuned out by your loud thoughts, and all your thoughts are saying to you “not only does he want to be in his past relationship, but hell he not even focused ENOUGH to see what can be what with one or the other. He seems to want to have it all, until his past decides to take him back.” The thing that you think about often is the fact that he has been admiring you from a far all these years and finally had the break to step forward on what he has been wanting to do. Not only is it you that’s been admired by him all these years, but there are a few and he just has the open room and opportunity to move towards everyone because his past stepped away for a second.

Yes, I said a second see she might have been there all these years and decided that she would try her own hand, since he wouldn’t actually step to the plate the way he should and even TRY to correct some issues that needed to be corrected between the two. She invested a lot in their relationship and doesn’t really want to throw it away, but she NEEDS HIM TO REALIZE what he has in her as his woman, and that he can’t go through various women to find what he already has. She is giving him TIME to grow up & realize when it is all said and done, that all their history and past together means more then what he felt it was all worth.

Honestly he is sick about the break in their relationship and it’s not taking money losses that have him in the fetal position, it’s the fact that she MIGHT BE MOVING ON and he realizes that he MESSED UP all this time. You guys still go back and forth and you know him enough to know that something is wrong based on his tone, you inquire if he is ok and he lets you know he will be cool he just took a loss, ha! He even goes as far as to giving you a dollar amount when in fact there is no amount to the “LOSS” he is grieving.
You continue your distance and understand that you should not have wasted your energy this long, because this is clearly a man that wants too much on top of what he already has. Holidays roll by and it’s clear to you that he spends them with her, it’s even clear to you that birthdays are still even celebrated together and there you have it CLARITY of the fact that they both are keeping one another close enough for a safety net while still swimming in other directions.

You continue to be the bigger person and keep your distance and even stop communication between you and him. Every now and then thoughts of you guys run through your mind and even thoughts of what could have been, only to be washed out by the fact that you’re not and won’t be. Out of the blue, you get a text from him and figure no harm can be done from this. He lets you know that he “MISSES YOU”, and that he wants to take you out and see you because he thinks of you often. You respond letting him know you miss him too, and that you would be open to going to hang out with him. Texts then fade for a day or two only to start back up with the same quotes from a few days before and added is the fact that his “situations” is “COMPLICATED”. Then it dawns on you what is needs to be said in order for both sides to just L.I.G. (let it GO) it..

“Me, I am single and I KNOW that you are NOT, there is NOTHING “complicated” about being single and or being in a relationship or married; either you are or you are not. Simple!!! I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t open to you when we first started talking. Now I would be lying to MYSELF if I went out with you again. We met and hung out and that was good when it was, and we both know and understand why we can’t anymore. YES YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP and YOU should find happiness in that and TRY to STAY TRUE TO THAT.. Going back and forth with me would only “COMPLICATE” things. I am good and we are cool friends and will always be that.”

You and he have NO CHOICE but to respect and except EXACTLY what it is……

See, once we realize that we are actually MORE than an OPTION, then and only then are we looked at as such. I can’t seem to set ME aside because of him and his pride, nor can I over look the fact that I am being over looked even though I am right there in front of his face. I am worth much more than uncertainty and I can’t seem to allow MYSELF to settle for any uncertain situation.

My tuition has NEVER been wrong, maybe it has made me seem and feel CRAZY hahaha but it has never been wrong. I have learned through the years to NEVER SECOND GUESS ME, simply because it is ME that is looking out and protecting ME. When dating I understand the false hood of a lot of men and what they say they might want and I know to watch for the simple lies that men then send my way. The type of lies that never had to be in the first place are the ones that I hear, because those are the one that THEY NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE to actually SAY…

Moral of the STORY: NEVER SECOND GUESS YOU……


TRUTH is ALWAYS LOVE & LOVE IS ALWAYS LOVE~

Xoxo RUTH the TRUTH!!!!