It is OK to be SINGLE~

Being single doesn’t mean that you are necessarily ready to mingle. For whatever reason you are single, that time should be used to identify with yourself. By identifying with yourself, you are enabling you to grow closer, and understand YOU.
There is NO WAY possible that you can allow any one person to give you your identity or even worse you try to make THEM what you feel is your identity. Once single (and trust me you know when you are SINGLE, I don’t care if he does stop by every other week YOU SINGLE) you have the open space to learn, grow, breathe and gain your very own understanding of life and relationships. We have a tendency to get into a “relationship” with a person and in some cases allow them to control everything about us; the way we dress, our personality, the way we walk and talk, hell even our minds.. We as individuals ALLOW ourselves to let go of ALL control, just to show how much of ourselves we are will to give up for that particular relationship.

Single in my opinion should be time for SOLITUDE and ISOLATION which equals to some type of rehabilitation from previous relationships and other individuals period. In order to go through cleansing yourself from previous relationships you first have to LET GO of them. Letting go does not mean cutting the communication and physical contact only, it also means cutting the emotional attachments and whatever hold previous individuals/relationships may have had on you. If anyone from your past relationships can still get you angry, hurt your feelings, and or something they may say or do can affect you in any kind of way; then you have not let them go. Solitude can give you peace and isolate you from what it is you need to be positioned apart from in order to step into future blessings and relationships.

Being single does not have to be a horrible thing. Yes, you will go through your periods of wanting someone there and yes you will even look around on holidays and wish you had a mate to wake up to on those special days; I can’t say that those feelings won’t be there. What I can say is that they are feelings that you will eventually condition yourself to set aside so that you are able to work on yourself as a person and soon become ready for the next relationship and elevated level in your future.

Most people can’t seem to distinguish the difference between LOVE and LUST and find themselves stuck in relationships that they really SHOULD NOT be in. Trust me if it were “LOVE “ it would not need and want to control everything about you; and if it wasn’t “LUST” then your “relationships” would then be much more then the occasional meet up’s for sex and or out of the blue all of a sudden quality time being spent. When single you are able to key in on what an individual was really all about during the time you were in a so called “relationship” with them. That is when you have those slapping yourself in the face moments and the WHAT IN THE HELL WAS I THINKING MOMENTS along with the WHAT EVEN MADE ME STAY THAT LONG moments??? Hahahaha, from that we develop a way to weed out the B.S., and grow as individuals from it all.
Breaking out of what had you bound all that time is like another body being lifted off your back and shoulders. In order to be single and be successful at being single you have to give yourself that time and room to simply GROW and you can’t do that if every time you look around your either back in the face of your past or even worse in the face of who won’t even be in your future. Single time can be use to reach self goals along with reaching a point in your life where you require MORE because you have MORE to offer to your future relationships.

Dealing with “FOR THE MOMENTS” while going through your single stage can be very distractive and, also block your progress as an individual. Brief encounters can also add emotional confusion to what already has you tied up into knots. We have to make sure to see ourselves in our own destiny before we can see anyone else there; not seeing you there just mean you still have some working on YOU to do. If you begin to make you your first priority then everything and everyone will eventually fall into place in your life.

Beauty is so much more than your outer appearance; your inner has to match up with your outer in order for you to even be considered for a serious relationship. I don’t see men taking women serious that have no mind of their own and simply can’t guide themselves, just like I don’t see women taking men serious that have to be raised as if he is not an adult already. Singleness allows you that time to get it all together prior to stepping into something with someone and then they turn around and realize dealing with YOU, was a waste of their time.

Me personally, I have been single for some time now and I don’t mind being single because I have expectations/goals that I have for MYSELF that I have yet to even reach. I also have expectations of my future mate that I feel “MOST” men should possess already naturally. I feel like if I open myself up to a relationship then I need to have a lot to bring to the table, well beyond any amount of money. Being single has allowed me to pay attention to the way individuals handle me on various levels. I can only move toward an actual relationship once I am READY, I don’t force it because I am not pressed to be attached to anyone especially anyone that will bring constant drama, pain, and foolishness to my life. The second I pick up on “RED FLAGS” I know to step away from it, I would also like to think that my spiritual guidance also adds to me knowing better, when I should in fact know better. Don’t get me wrong at all I really do go through moments OFTEN, when I want someone there or I simply want to pick up the phone and hear HIM on the other end wanting to know how my day went. I go through even more AGONIZING moments when I want to be physically pacified (if I can just be HONEST here ha) and it is HARD to just roll over to my body pillow and just GO TO SLEEP… I can’t lie at all being single is VERY trying MOST of the time. Then out of the trying times comes my independence and the capability to have PATIENCE and security as an INDIVIDUAL, so that eventually I can carry good qualities over into my relationship when it’s time.

Moral of the Story: IT IS OKAY, TO BE SINGLE……. Being SINGLE allows you to BETTER YOURSELF for your future RELATIONSHIP that is actually sitting in YOUR DESTINY waiting on you to see YOURSELF there..Love is ALWAYS LOVE & TRUTH
Xoxo RUTH the TRUTH